"Discover the Power of Checking-In: A Path to Optimal Well-Being and Living Alive

If you find yourself frequently wanting to check-out, Consider a check-in instead!

To live is the rarest thing in the world, most people just exist, that is all.

-Oscar Wilde

In a busy world, it’s easy to find ourselves rushing through our to-do list, running from one social event to another, and using our down time to check out instead of checking in with ourselves...

Many of us move through our lives less than aware of how we’re feeling or what is happening inside at the level of our mind-body experience.

We might wonder, why does it matter?  I’m fine.  Who has time to check-in with how they’re feeling all the time?  We might find ourselves thinking, ‘so I check in, now I know I’m sad, doesn’t that just make it worse?’

Some of us have learned or come to associate allowing ourselves to notice and attend to the less than happy feelings we experience with things like “having a pity party or dwelling.” 

When these associative patterns are present, it makes sense that we would learn to check out instead of checking in...

Checking out can take many forms; we might find ourselves with patterns of:

·       Scrolling through social media
·       Binging a favorite show
·       Having a drink or a few
·       Using other chemicals
·       Workaholism
·       Over-eating
·       Over-exercising
·       Over-spending

The problem with checking out habits, even the ones that seem to have a solid upside (a fat paycheck; nice abs; a good time), is that their overall impact on our nervous system tends to be suboptimal.  Upon reflection, we often find these efforts at restoration leave us no more refreshed than when we started, and they may leave us worse off. Routine practices of checking out tends to lead to numbness. 

What’s wrong with being comfortably numb? 

In the words of Brene Brown, “When we numb the darkness, we numb the light.” 

Becoming nervous system aware and learning the how and why’s for checking in with ourselves is a vital step in optimizing well-being and living alive.  Through checking in, we create the foundation for the most vibrant relationship we’ll ever have- the one with ourselves.

Today, we’d like to invite you to check-in using the practice below. 

Checking-In Practice

Find a quiet, comfortable space where you won’t be interrupted.

You might choose to be seated on a chair or cross-legged on the floor.  Allow yourself to ground down in your seat and imagine the crown of your head reaching up to the sky.  Perhaps soften your gaze or close your eyes.  Start by taking a few deep breaths. 

As you continue breathing, begin noticing, what is happening inside.  How does your body feel?  Relaxed, tense, shutdown?  What is happening in your mind?  Is it calm, quiet, focused or racing full speed ahead with a rush of worries?

You might find that you tend to judge or evaluate some of what you find.

Perhaps, explore what happens when you shift toward noticing and accepting rather than judging.

Everything belongs.  We all have a wide range of thoughts and emotions.  Our feelings often hold helpful information.  When we start with acceptance of our feelings and nervous system states, we can often take the next steps of exploring what needs might go with those feelings.  We might ask the feeling parts of ourselves, what would help this feel better?

When we follow this flow, we often discover a response that is in alignment with our deeper needs rather than getting caught in efforts that simply try to talk us out of our feelings.  We don’t want to tell ourselves to get over it; we want to help ourselves move through it.

If you find you are tense, lost in worries, or shutdown and numb, you might ask inside- what would help me feel better?  You might find that an answer naturally comes to you.  Whatever you find, give it a try.

If nothing specific came to you, you might try breathing into a mantra that matches the need connected to that feeling part.

You might breathe into a mantra that resonates with your deeper need:

·       I am safe 
·       I am loved
·       I am a valuable part of the whole
·       It is good to be me
·       One thing at a time is just right
·       Rest is needed
·       Everything belongs
·       Create your own. 😊

Today, we celebrate your part to the whole, and invite you to accept all of you!